It comes in many forms and seems almost inevitable once you have one child. Will you have more kids? When are you having another one? Two girls, you need a boy. When are you trying for a boy? How many kids are you having? Are you really stopping at two kids? Don’t you want more kids? I never get upset when people ask me this question, but it is crazy how frequently it gets asked. Sure, some of the time it’s just a way to strike up a conversation, but the other times it feels like society isn’t content with a women having just two kids. It’s almost as if I’m sometimes made to feel like I’m missing out on something by only having two kids.
From the moment Travis and I started talking about having kids, we never really agreed on a firm number. There were talks of 3 kids, 4 kids, even 1 kid when we were in the thick of it. Ultimately though, we knew it would never be our plan and we were totally cool with that. God’s plan has been and always will be bigger and better than our own. In fact, when I was diagnosed with endometriosis, we were unsure we’d even have kids of our own.
By the grace of God, we had two miracle babies – Emma Grace and Abigail. My pregnancies were easy, but my deliveries were scary and after Abigail was born we decided I would have a hysterectomy to help eliminate pain from endometriosis and prevent the possibility of me not making it through another delivery. From the moment we began trying to conceive to the moment we decided to get a hysterectomy, Travis and I were both in perfect peace. We knew this was God’s plan and we both felt content.
but, will we have more kids?
But, will be have more kids? You’d be surprised how often we still get asked this question and although we love giving the quick, laughable answer of “I don’t have a uterus,” we have given it a lot of thought.
Currently, we don’t have a 100% answer to this question. As of this very second, we are content with our two baby girls. If you asked Travis, he would tell you our family is perfect with just the 4 of us, and it so is. For me though, my heart still feels restless; my heart isn’t sure.
From as early as my college years, I’ve had a tug on my heart to adopt. I’ve always desired to have kids of my own, but always wanted to be available to adopt. Now a bit older, I am aware of all the factors one must consider when adopting, but I still feel a tug on my heart to open my home to more kids. I honestly have no idea what this would look like whether it’s adopting a child, fostering children, or aiding those that are fostering. It’s a prayer I’ve been praying for over 5 years (no joke), and will keep praying until I feel like the Lord has given me an answer.
For now, Travis and I have agreed that until we are both 90% sure of something, we won’t make any moves. So, if you were curious if we would have more kids, not today. But, maybe tomorrow…
And until then, I will continue to rejoice in the gift of my family and enjoy every single second with my crazy, beautiful girls!
If you have adopted or fostered kids or are currently adopting or fostering, I would love to know more about your experience!
photography: maribel morales