Happy Monday, loves! TGIM!! I hope your week is already off to a great start. We had a wonderful weekend full of birthdays and house projects.
I wish Trav could chime in on this topic today, because I’m sure he’d have a lot to say. I don’t know if I was born this way or if I learned this from my parents, but I like to set really high expectations. I have been that way my whole life. High expectations for my work self, my body, motherhood, being a wife, being a friend, etc. I actually think a lot of good can come when you set high expectations for yourself.
Where it gets tricky is when you start setting high expectations for situations. I’ve learned this the hard way and still am frankly. I’m talking about expecting a specific reaction from your spouse when telling them a story. Or, expecting the evening to go exactly as it plays out in your head. Basically, thinking the only positive or correct outcome is the one you have created in your head. Again, this is something I’ve struggled with my whole life being a perfectionist and being hyper aware of others emotions.
I really started to notice this habit in myself however when I had kids. If there is anything that is unpredictable, it’s a kid. From the moment your child is born, you are on an unpredictable journey. After I had the girls I started to notice my anxiety ramp up. In conjunction, I was feeling more and more down on myself and more frustrated with myself when things didn’t go as I planned.
It took awhile, but I finally figured out the culprit – my expectations of how things should go. It was stealing my joy and I had to change something. So, over the past couple of months I have worked on truly letting go of my expectations for certain scenarios. For example, the last week of summer I had a lot more work than was planned. My old self would have spiraled, frustrated that my “last week with my girls” wasn’t going exactly as I had planned. Another kink in my own plan happened last week when I wasn’t able to go to the very first parent night of my entire life. You know, the first ever parent night. That’s a big deal! I had to send Travis in my place and it normally would have caused me to break down or beat myself up.
But, in both cases I actively practiced letting go of all expectations. It allowed me to go into those situations with a clear head. It allowed me to move past my self and my own desires. It helped me to see that those things don’t matter to my girls. They don’t make me a good or bad mom and they don’t make me less of a mom. My girls still love me and I still love them and they are getting just as much love as they would in my own scenario.
I have truly been shocked at how simply letting go of expectations has been so freeing. It’s allows me to stay calm and centered no matter what the day may bring. That in turn has helps me to be more joyful in my home, which increases everyone’s joy. Remember, we’re the joy barometer, mamas. 😉 So I challenge you to let go of your expectations. To live in the moment with your kids, your spouse, your friends. Let the insignificant details fall by the wayside and focus on what’s important – your presence and your love!
Y’all, I can’t end today’s post without a quick word about this tunic. This Free People tunic is everything. I first saw it last year in pink on Jillian Harris and freaked. But the pink sold out so incredibly fast. I ordered this very tunic last year, but it was too big and by the time I sent it back, my size had sold out. It was one of the most popular items last Fall/Winter in the blogger world, and for good reason! It’s very well made, super soft, and extremely versatile. If you’re short like me, you can pull it off as a dress (sizing up helps with wearing it as a dress). But, you can always wear it as a sweater over black leather leggings, jeans, or white jeans. It’s incredibly versatile and a must have. It also comes in 6 colors! So, if you’re at all interested in it, I would grab it now because it most definitely will sell out fast!
photography: fort lion studio