Hi, babes! Today going a little deeper and sharing with you guys one of my biggest struggles in life – discontentment. It’s something I’ve struggled a lot with the past couple of years. You would think my discontentment would be around clothing given my job, but that’s actually not the case. As much as I love clothing and love putting outfits together, clothes are clothes and hold little value to me. I rarely envy others’ clothes, bags, or accessories. What I tend to struggle with is status. It seems so silly when I say it out loud, but it’s true.
So often I find myself comparing the square footage of our home to others, or how up-to-date our home is to other homes, or, you catch the drift. It seems like harmless thoughts at first, but continual thoughts of discontentment can wreak havoc on your mind, your attitude, and your family. No matter what you find discontentment in, it’s a thief of joy and creativity. And while our society will continue to push discontentment and comparison, we can fight against discontentment and reclaim the joy we want in our lives!
- stop comparing – like I said above, comparison is the thief of all joy, but it can be the thief of creativity. It staunches growth and happiness both mentally and emotionally. Reducing comparison will automatically make you feel happier, more grateful and more focused. This step could look like a lot of different things for different people. It could be something as practical as getting of social media or simply not giving headspace to those types of thoughts.
- put blinders on – this tip piggy backs on the above. If comparison is hard for you, put on your blinders. Don’t tempt yourself by spending time looking at other people or other people’s lives. Unfollow people on social media, get off social media altogether, etc.
- memorize scripture – this is not my forte, but it has really helped me. I’ve started reading and attempting to memorize Bible verses that tell me who I am in Christ and where I can find true joy.
- set your intentions – ultimately, you are in control of your own emotions; it’s something we tell our girls every single day. I find when I wake up and set intentions for my day, I am much more positive and more focused on myself and my intentions as opposed to other people. Setting an intention can be simple too. Your intention can be to extend loving kindness to others or to practice thankfulness throughout your day
- start your day with quiet time – the one that thing ALWAYS helps me stay joyful and avoid comparison is spending quiet time with God and meditating. It completely changes the trajectory of my day and my thoughts. For meditation I’ve been using the calm app for the past year and love it. My quiet time with God looks different on different days. Right now I’m working through a small devotional I was gifted, but I also loved going through this devotional last year.
- set goals – if you’re goal oriented, set goals for yourself and work to achieve them. Goals like I will not compare my outfit to another person’s outfit all work week or I will not get on social media for X days in a row.
- live your life, not others – sounds simple enough, right? Not always! I have found though that instead of spending energy and headspace thinking about someone else’s outfit or house or body or you name it, learning to focus your attention on your own day will automatically make you stop comparing yourself to others.
- surround yourself with positive people – as we get older we start to make decisions about how we are going to invest our time. Choose to invest your time getting to know people that are humble, positive, and kind. Surround yourself with an energy of support and kindness, not comparison and judgment.
- be thankful – learning to focus on what you do have and what you can be grateful for is not always easy to practice, but I promise you, it will begin to shift your focus from one of comparison and discontentment to thankfulness and joy. A good practice is to start each day by writing down 20 things you are thankful for.
- do something for someone else – one of my good friends always reminds me of this if I’m sharing a struggle. She tells me to go out and serve someone else whether it’s a family member, a neighbor, or someone in your community. Taking the focus off yourself and extending kindness to someone else softens your heart, your mind, and shifts your focus.
NOTE: I recognize fully that by sharing daily outfits and sale finds with you all that I may be aiding your discontentment. I genuinely hope that is not the case, but if it is, simply unfollow me. I never want to be the reason you are struggling. 🙂 If you enjoy following along, I hope you know that I share things I truly love or think you will love, too! I am not purchasing a new outfit every single day and I hope you aren’t either. Rather, I search for sales (to stay in my budget) and invest in pieces I can wear multiple ways (biggest bang for my buck).
photography: maribel morales